Chinese names on QI

In this episode of QI, Steven Fry gives everyone their “Chinese name” and then
“translates” it into English. Interestingly, he gives two translations
for each person.

How he arrived at their Chinese names seems to be as follows: He first
cuts up everyone’s name into monosyllables. Then for each syllable
finds the closest matching one in Chinese, where “closest” is probably
determined by Fry’s own (probably not so accurate) intuitions about
Chinese phonology.